FOR ABBY: I lived in New York all my life. I moved to Florida a year ago because of my health and being near my daughter and granddaughter. I've been depressed since I got here. I really miss New York and my best friend. I can not sleep. I sat and cried and I had no motivation to do anything. My daughter is very good to me, but when I try to talk to my husband about how I feel, he just doesn't care. He shouted and walked away. I'm so confused. I feel like I can't move on. Can you give me some advice? — MOVED SOUTH
DEAR REFUGEES: The reason you moved to Florida is a rational one. However, feelings are not always rational. Your move has put you in a situation where your surroundings are unfamiliar to you and your support system (your best friend) is no longer there for you.
The symptoms you describe are those of major depression. Don't let it become chronic. A few sessions with a licensed mental health counselor can help you adjust to your new circumstances so you can explore options for more social interaction.
PS I hope you ask me about relocation policies BEFORE you do because I would advise you to RENT for a year to make sure you will be happy in Florida before making it permanent.
FOR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for six years. The problem is his sister and the emotional grip he seems to have over her. There were several instances where he was rude and invasive when it came to OUR business.
When I objected to my husband about it, his response was either he was sorry or he acted like he didn't understand why I found his behavior annoying. When she spoke to him on the phone it was as if she felt compelled to tell him OUR business, namely financial status, which I have told her many times is none of her business, to which she agreed. But he recently did it again.
He acts like he's afraid of her – like he has some kind of emotional hold on her. I will blow the gasket. I wanted to revisit the subject in such a way that he would FINALLY understand my point of view and be less eager to share everything that happened in our house. Any thoughts? — PRIVATE PERSON IN ILLINOIS
DEAR PRIVATE: You and your husband were raised in two different kinds of families. His is more open; yours, not so much. I wonder if your husband leaked this financial information of his own free will, or if his sister asked him about it. Since this makes you uncomfortable and you have asked your husband not to do it, it may take professional mediation to reach him. Please consider it.
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